Days Off

It's been a great couple of days off. Not working this weekend, and getting all the adventure out of my system allowed me to have a great couple of days just hanging around the house, doing laundry, cleaning, and listening to music. Although the only place I've ventured in the past couple of days has been Aldi, I haven't felt confined or bored. The whole house is clean. Mr. W. came over tonight and we grilled a delicious pork tenderloin on Stephen, the grill (yes, I named my grill), plus some of Claire's special potatoes in an aluminium foil pouch, complete with newly sprouted chives from the garden. The weather has been gorgeous and I've had the windows open for two days, much to Martin's delight (he's the cat). He is currently running around the house like he's on a mission; there must be another cat outside. It's a funny sight to see this cat running (it's more like jogging actually) around the house because he's huge, and just a little rotund, so it's not entirely a graceful process, as one would generally expect from a cat.

I haven't taken any pictures since Monday night, although Mr. B. and I were talking about someone he knew who made it her prerogative to take at least one photograph every day, just to get back into photography, and I think that's an excellent idea. I plan to take the FE2 to work with me tomorrow and find something to take pictures of. I may get to pick up my CDs from Wolf tomorrow during my lunch break. Picking them up after work is not possible because of a tutoring appointment right after work, so I think I can swing it on my lunch break if I get to work early tomorrow. If so, there will be pics to post tomorrow.

The storm of bitterness is not quite as bitter as expected, but it's getting there. I am trying to adjust my thought processes accordingly. I guess I'm just not a bitter, vengeful person, and I've been through several relationships and done many stupid things, and in return, had many stupid things done to me, so in a sense, I seem like I at least understand the motivations behind the stupidity. I wish I didn't. I wish I could just hate, or find reserves of anger I don't seem to have. It just hurts, as raw as it was the day it happened. I'm coping with it better, but it still feels the same, and all I know how to do is channel it into some sort of creativity. I hope that works. I guess you'll know I'm angry if I start taking really angry pictures sometime soon.

Yes, he is most definitely gone, and I have to believe that he is gone and he is living his idyllic little life with nary a thought of the past seven months. I just don't exist for him. He has just wiped me out. I have to do the same.